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Cook Timer is a totally free and open source application that will help, and you can run in windows without installation.Makes sense, because this app is, how shall we put it, extremely interactive.Per the instructions for measuring length (pictured), an individual intent on educating himself on proper condom-dashery would start by holding "his hard member against inches or cm on sides of screen." You read that right—getting a proper reading from Condom Size requires an extremely intimate encounter with your smartphone.There are 3, 5, 10 and 15 minute presets, and you can also set a custom countdown. This is a very basic program, you can't change the alarm sound and there are absolutely no options, but as a simple timer, it's effective.The alarm sound is clear, and the application sits out of the way in the system tray when minimized.

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Good thing they added a couple inches to the i Phone 5's screen size, right? Measuring penis girth turns out to be slightly less straightforward. Of course, all of this is for educational and entertainment purposes, VSM Enterprises assures us in its disclaimer for Condom Size.