Foreigners in japan dating
On the other hand, I’ve been the recipient of a fair amount of Japanese frustration because, as a Midwestern American, I tend to plan things off the cuff; sometimes at the very last minute or at the spur of the moment. But I find this often clashes with the methodical nature of planning social gatherings in Japan. Soon enough, I’d be seeing the same people at parties and hosting them in my disgusting college-boy “apartment” (probably classified by normal people as a “disaster area”).In Japan, striking up a conversation is easy enough, but it takes months or even years for that first contact to bloom into a substantial relationship.For several months and perhaps years following that encounter, I laughed at how ridiculous his words were, and wanted to prove him wrong- which I did for a while.Then, as I found myself more single than ever, I started to think he maybe had a point.There is a whole category of Japanese people that foreign exchange students and long-term expats refer to as “Gaijin Hunters;” Japanese that go out of their way to befriend foreigners, typically for self-serving purposes like free English lessons, street cred, or Hollywood movie-style romance, whether that’s a fair label or not.
On the contrary, I’ve had Japanese friends run to my aid in times of need when other Western friends seemed mysteriously absent.I never went running back to Black Francis, but while not being entirely wrong, the guy had a point.Foreign girls dating in Japan don't always have it easy, but I think many of them make it difficult for themselves.And as beautiful, intelligent and interesting we foreign girls are, foreign males are not going to go after us when surrounded in a playground of mini skirt and heels-clad babes. Japanese girls are some of the most beautiful in the world, they take amazing care of themselves and are kind, caring individuals.In Japan, foreign girls sometimes have a reputation for being loud, noisy, overweight, badly-dressed and not groomed.
These little backhanded compliments are referred to in sociology by the relatively new term of “Microaggressions.” Essentially, when a Japanese person compliments your basic chopstick use or your above-average pronunciation of rudimentary Japanese phrases, asks, “When will you go back to your home country? ,” these people are essentially re-affirming your “otherness;” Confirming their own stereotypes about foreigners while at the same time presenting it in a complimentary fashion that feels difficult to refute or take offense to.