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Sometimes these spouses complain that their mates are verbally abusive, but they nevertheless maintain contact by subtle encouragement or by not setting limits.
One woman clung to the hope of reconciliation, despite the fact that her ex-husband repeatedly told her how happy he was with his new mate; and despite her anger, he confided in his ex-wife regularly, drove her to appointments and helped her with chores.
Such couples are deeply emotionally and sexually bonded and maintain idealized images of one another.
One couple, divorced many years, lived in separate houses on the same property, but the reality of each other fueled their continued legal hostilities and helped to keep them apart.
Women feel more helpless and vulnerable, and have low self-esteem, while men tend to work harder, sleep less, and function ineffectively.
These couples are highly reactive and co-dependent.
Rather than go through the pain of separation, couples persist in having ambivalent feelings and repeatedly try to reconcile over many years.
Emotional Symptoms of Divorce During the first six months of separation, women are more prone to symptoms of depression, poor health, loneliness, work inefficiency, insomnia, memory difficulties, and increased substance abuse.
Studies show that men feel empty, guilty, anxious, depressed, deep loss, and strong dependency needs of which they were unaware.