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The rate of divorce in America remains high, leaving many adult men and women alone, available and wondering how to maneuver on the playing field. D., offers advice gleaned from his own research and that of other experts to help you get back into dating mode.After years of being in a relationship, putting yourself back in the singles market can be a daunting endeavor. After 19 years of waking up next to the same person, Yolanda*, a marketing consultant, suddenly found herself greeting mornings alone.If your relationship with your ex isn't emotionally resolved for both of you, then it's a bad idea to date before the divorce is final.If you're still seething with negative emotions about the end of your marriage, it's going to be hard to hide that fact from anyone you're interested in dating.
Yolanda may have felt alone on the playing field, but she was far from it. The number of women living alone has doubled to 14.6 million, and the number has nearly tripled for men, jumping from 3.5 million to 10.3 million.You might believe that you're completely over your ex and ready to meet someone new, only to panic and disappear as soon as the new relationship starts to get serious.That wouldn't be fair to the other person, so be sure to give yourself some time to heal before starting anything serious with a new romantic interest.Your ex might be willing to accept that the marriage just wasn't working out -- the divorce might even be her idea -- but if you start dating before she's ready for it then she can make things very difficult for both of you.If you have children together, it's especially important not to provoke unnecessary conflict with your ex before custody arrangements have been fully worked out.
The longer the marriage was and the more intense the emotions associated with the divorce, the longer you should wait.