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As the popular north African rapper Samir Balti recently put it in a song, “They’ve gone where the wave decided they would go/Where death is present/They went where the news is lost/...

They went where they feed fish/They went where mothers weep.”It is Samir Errawafi who introduces me to the women of El Kabariya. His 19-year-old son Mohamed vanished one night from his bed and rang the next day from Sfax to say that he had found a trafficker and was going to Italy.

She was, her mother says, an elegant, laughing, liberated young woman who wanted to have fun.

But there was no work for her in Tunis and she needed money to pay for an operation for Amir, who was going blind in one eye. And then there are Janette Rhimi and her husband Hamed, the parents of 20-year-old Wissem, who also left without saying anything.

All had talked, with longing and anger, of the need to leave Tunisia, to go somewhere they could find work and earn money to send home.

Pointing at the ramshackle houses, the shabby clothes, the thin, small, solemn children, one old man explains that his son left in order to “faire l’avenir”—find a future.

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, Wertane thinks that her husband, Nabil, is still alive, that her mobile will ring and he will tell her he has found work in Italy, or France, that he will soon be home with money to buy them a house.

She lives in two small rooms and would not survive, she explains, without help from her parents and Nabil’s brother. Wertane lives in El Kabariya, a poor suburb of Tunis, where electricity cables sag across the dusty streets and many of the buildings are half-built or derelict.Like some of the other women who talk to me, Janette shows me boxes of sleeping pills and anti-depressants, saying that without them she cannot keep the nightmares at bay.What makes this group of Tunisian families different from others whose sons have disappeared at sea is that, despairing of official help, they have formed an association to campaign for recognition and for a commission to look into the whereabouts of the missing.In February 2013, 151 families signed a petition to the European Union.“We do not know the exact number of missing people,” they wrote, “but we know there are a lot—hundreds from Tunisia alone.”With no real pressure for accountability or information-sharing coming from elsewhere, what is happening in this community may become a model.

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Far more—Eritreans, Sudanese, Ethiopians—have already survived terrifying flights from persecution in their sub-Saharan countries, then crossed the deserts and mountains of north Africa, before their boat journey even begins.